#Thoughts – “How Am I Not Myself”

So I like random things; cartoons, video games, alcohol, organized databases… etc. In the resturaunt across the street from my office, there’s a converted cigarette machine (similar to soda machines, but they sold cigarettes… classic stuff) that sells small pieces of art for $5 a pop. Great idea. I support it and I’m trying to figure out how I can have some work available in it. 2 times now, I’ve bought earring from there and I love them. This time, I went for the beaded jewlery, and get a cool bit of flowers that I placed behind my ear.

A recent newcomer to the youth center, passes by me and makes a groaning sound. I inquire as to her reasoning, and she proceeds to point at my flower. I’m like oh, word. What’s wrong with it. She goes “why are you wearing something like that?” I reply, “because I’m a grown man and can do what I want.”

Sure, I could have been a bit more chill in my response, but it’s interesting to me that folks feel entitled to dictate anothers appearance or expression based on what their personal decision would be. Sure, she may have not worn a beaded set of small pink and purple flowers behind her ear, but for what reason shouldn’t I? Are they something pretty? Am I, a young man, not allowed be pretty or have something associated with pretty connected to me? Would it be ok if I were gay? If so, why? Is it more socially acceptable for me to wear something sexually explicit than something pretty?

I am one who feels I can express myself however I choose, but that expression doesnt represent my complete being. If you wear a school uniform, that school doesnt define who you are. It just brings attention to your attending school, or that you like khakis and light blue shirts, or that it was laundry day…

It could honestly mean anything. People will take what they see and attach whatever message to it. The question is “how do you define yourself”.

This may be a cop out, but i define myself as me. Im a father, but thats not my complete being. Im always a father, but im always human, im always a poet, im always a business owner, etc. (Thanks for the support btw) I have qualities similar to others, but no one is exactly like me, and vice-versa. I am me whether in trippwear pants or a pencil skirt. I’m me with hair extensions, my fro, cornrows or locs.

If we strive to be more of ourselves everyday, we will see an overall happier community. At least that’s what I think.

What do you think? Hit the comment section and sound off with your opinion!

Peace and safety,
-Dwayne B!

Categories: Blogs and ThoughtsTags: , , , , , ,


  1. Some people just don’t appreciate pretty like we do. 🙂 flowers in beards is a new trend. You should do that next time you’ve grown it out! 😀
    I think the prettiest thing i ever see is always people being freely expressive.

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