On finding love in the midst of crisis

I love movies that pull feelings out of my heart. The latest being “Seeking a friend for the end of the world”.

I’m 31 and single. I’m no longer sure I believe in a legally binding marriage. I feel like my closest friendships are becoming harder to maintain, and I honestly believe that with my luck, I would survive the apocalypse. I’m pretty sure I’m on the verge of my midlife crisis, which would mean I’m going to die at 62. Which would be longer than I would have ever expected to make it.

Before I die, I have to do a conga line through a restaurant toward marijuana and glowsticks.

What I’m saying is I have goals.

I believe in love. I see it when I look in my son’s eyes. I hear it when my co-parent says “Darius’ dad” instead of “baby daddy”. I know it when present with Spit Dat family. I share wonderful experiences with wonderful friends; that’s love. Walking sunsets, harassing our friend who works the night shift at Harris Teeter, praying the most ratchet songs come on at “socially conscious” events. This life I’m gifted to lead is full of love.

My “one love” is out there; I know it. The person I’ll be comfortable with sharing all of these experiences; who will share enough trust with me to not have to always be present. Who will understand commitment and rings are not mutually exclusive. We will build our relationship out of friendship and goals.

And it will be beautiful. Like finding love in the midst of crisis.

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