Categories: Blogs and Thoughts
Song of the Month: Frank Ocean – Solo
Last year was a devils dance.
Much of the year was coming to terms with the facts that hope dies and love is only the beginning of the healing. I’d spent the first half of the year building my reserves; preparing for loss and acknowledging the fear I hold.
What fear you say? Well… this presidency is anxiety production personified. One who recklessly provokes, carelessly speaks, and surrounds himself with criminals and crooks is our commander in chief. This person has the codes to nuclear arms and holds our fate in the balance. If that’s not enough to make you worry, then your nerves are titanium.
The later half of 2017 saw me in mourning. Three members of the DC poetry scene passed away in a month. As well as I play with others, I process loss in the most introverted way. I write. I sit still and stew in the feelings. I process and do my best to move forward. As someone with somewhat of a martyrdom complex, death is hard for me. I always feel like I’m on the verge of being a fond memory. I think I’m in good health, but 2 of the prior passed suddenly.
I recap 2017 to say, 2018 for me will be the year of the hard reset. I’m working to establish what will be Dwayne’s legacy. That’s why releasing 1 Color Kaleidoscope is such a big deal for me. Sure, its me releasing a project, and people have maybe been waiting for it, but its much more. Its me having something to show for the work that I’ve done processing my emotions. Darius will be able to read it and know daddy was a complex being beyond video games and paying tuition. I pray he can see how hard it is to be away. And how necessary for all of our well-being that I fly solo for this part of my journey.
I have faith that 2018 will be the harvest many of us have been sowing. I’m already seeing the fruit peeking behind my vines. The connections I’ve cultivated, both professionally and personally, seem to be paying off. The arts world seems to be aligning with the business world. DC is shining harder than I’ve ever seen. This is the time to make dreams goals and make goals plans. A time to take failure and make success. To refuse to be forgotten.
So while January has been a mixed bag so far, I know it feels good to make things happen, even in the midst of turmoil. And that is a big difference from last year. This is a rebirth of hope. Sometimes that’s all you need.
Peace And Safety,
*Feel Free to comment with your goals for 2018 below. I’d love to see what folks are working on.